We can all agree on the fact that families can be complicated. Whether you tend to fight a lot or get along very well, relationships in general can be tough.
The good thing is, you know you are loved and wanted and will always have someone to turn to.
Or at least that’s the way it is supposed to be…
What happens when you find yourself with the chance to meet your long-lost parent or parents?
Today I will share my experience with you.
I was left in a foster home by my biological mother and father when I was just a few months old and my status as an orphan didn’t last long.
Luckily, I was taken in quickly by a deeply loving and caring couple who became my mom and dad and gave me everything I could have ever hoped for.
Since I was a child, my parents made sure I was aware of my story, they didn’t want me finding out when I was older and snapping on them for not telling me.
Also, they really believed than when making me aware they were helping me accept my real self from the beginning.
I grew up happily and to be honest there were very little moments in which I wondered about my birth parents.
My family were my adoptive parents and I was a hundred percent sure I didn’t want to meet any other mother or father.
When I turned 13 years old, my mother got sick.
She was scared and the doctors said it was really hard for her to make it so she sat me down and gave me a talk I can never forget and that’s how I found out about my biologicals mother’s story.
While feeling awful and going through though therapies my mother would keep on asking me to meet her, she said she had no choice but to leave me because my father was violent.
I didn’t want to know anything about it.
My father would back her up, he would insist that if I gave my birth mom the chance he would be really proud and support me though the entire process, he even offered to go to the same coffee shop undercover.
So I accepted.
I didn’t want to talk to her just yet so my father arranged the meeting and we set a date just a week away.
Those seven days must have been the longest ones of my life.
A part of me was desperately waiting for the moment to arrive and would practice presentations in the mirror whereas the other part would be plain upset and felt like it was meeting a person who let her down and wouldn’t hesitate in doing it again.
The day arrived and I my father dropped me off at the arranged coffee shop and said he would wait for me in another cafe just around the corner.
I sat in a table, looking at all the women that came in and try to see if I felt identified with them, I did not.
A few minutes later, a woman approached my table and had tears in her eyes.
She asked me if it was really me and I nodded.
She hugged me.
The feeling was odd.
I don’t think I can put it into words but it was neither nice nor bad.
I was bummed because it just felt like hugging a stranger.
She sat on the table across of me and started telling her story.
That day, I learned more about myself than I ever thought I would and my emotions were all over the place.
One second I found myself thinking it was fine, that she was a good woman and had good motive.
The next second I was doubting her and thinking she could’ve kept me and escaped.
During the two hours we were sitting there, I barely said a word.
My father came back to me and we took separate routes.
When I got home I took a few days off from school to think everything through and got to the conclusion that I did want to know her, but only as a friend or acquaintance.
Miraculously, a few months later my mother recovered from the impossible, and little by little I started introducing this complete stranger into my life.
Today, three years later, I meet with my birth mother on a monthly basis and she comes to my birthday parties, but it never got around to being a mother daughter bond.
While my experience was positive, meeting a long lost parent is always a very personal experience and I think the most important thing to have when making the decision to set up a meeting is counting on a support system that can help you no matter the result.